I honestly never expected to be posting things about my pregnancy on my blog so soon after getting married but I guess with all the baby and wedding posts coming your way this year it will at least look like I have my life together...or maybe not. At the time of writing this I am 20/nearly 21 weeks pregnant so now seems like a good time to look back over my first trimester. For those who don't know the first trimester is from the first to the 13th week of pregnancy. Most people don't know they're experiencing the first trimester at least for the first few weeks. As we were actively trying to get pregnant I was on red alert every time my period date was near so I found out the day I was late, making me about 4 weeks pregnant. So I got to experience most of the first trimester. A blessing and a curse.
A blessing because it's so lovely to know you're expecting but a curse because those few extra weeks of knowing makes it feel so much longer! It honestly feels like I've bee pregnant forever and this baby is just being stubborn. But I haven't and as much as I know they will inherit mine and Jack's stubbornness, I can't really blame them just yet for not being ready to leave the womb. Having suffered in the past with a couple of miscarriages I was very cautious as to how excited I let myself get and I hadn't even really planned to tell Jack until I was 12 weeks; that soon changed though when my friend Anna convinced me I needed to tell him so we could be excited together and if the worst did happen I would have Jack to lean on.
How I told Jack
For the past few months I had been collecting "love notes" from people all around the world. The idea is simple, you ask them to write a note on a piece of paper, take a photo of that note somewhere where they live (maybe a landmark or even just their garden), you do the same for them and you exchange pictures. I had no idea how seriously people took this until I started to do it but it soon became apparent that a lot of people would take your pictures and not return the favour and so I too became quite strict with it all.
Anyway, I collected these pictures and had them all printed out and then stuck them all in a scrapbook starting with the states of America in alphabetical order and then ones from the UK followed by the rest of world. The last ones in the book are from Disneyland Paris as this is where Jack proposed to me. I then wrote a note about when we got together, got engaged, were getting married and our next adventure...
The following page was a picture of me holding a note in front of my tummy that read "Daddy, mummy's love for you is so BIG that you created ME!"
It was fair to say Jack was shocked and did not expect that ending to the book at all! I recorded his reaction for us to look back on and even had to make him put a t-shirt on before I would give him the present; how he didn't guess something was up I will never know!
Morning sickness and tiredness
One of the most well known symptoms of pregnancy is definitely morning sickness and it is something every single person will ask you about when they find out the good news. I know that it's lovely that people are taking an interest but when I have to repeat myself several times a day about my throwing up habits, it gets dull fast! I didn't really experience any real sickness until the last couple of weeks of the first trimester and beyond that (more on that in the next post) but I certainly felt sick. Which in some ways is worse. I would have rather have been sick and got it over with. The only other symptom of pregnancy people seem to know about is cravings so I would constantly have to explain to people that those don't usually occur until the second or third trimester and then they would look disappointed as if I was letting them down with science.
One thing I hadn't really counted on was feeling so tired in the first few weeks! I was so sure that something the size of a peppercorn couldn't really make that much of a difference to my energy levels. How wrong I was. I was constantly falling asleep in the middle of the day and taking naps after work. If I didn't start till 2pm then my morning would be spent in bed with Netflix because I knew by the time 10:30pm rolled around I would be a zombie. Shift work is insanely hard when your expecting. I honestly would not recommend it and if you can, arrange to do shifts that suit you better and try not to worry about "being a pain" like I did (again, more on that later).
Mentality
Looking back now I don't really remember much of what I was thinking/feeling in the first trimester. i remember not being able to fully absorb the fact I had a human growing inside of me and that I was going to be a mum. And feeling overwhelmed at both of those thoughts when they did occur to me. But the only mental strain I remember feeling in any great detail was worry. I was more worried about losing the baby and going through another miscarriage than anything else and I think just wanting to make it to 12 weeks and our first scan took over anything else I was thinking or feeling. And I guess that's probably why the first trimester felt so long for me. That's not to say that my mental health hasn't take a massive hit since being pregnant but it just didn't happen for me until much later. I will being a whole separate post (or two) on prenatal mental health and the issues surrounding that.
I didn't half ramble on! I'm sure I could have said more but for now we will leave it at that and I will write my second trimester post in the next few weeks! The first trimester is certainly challenging with all the new information and thoughts/concerns to process but it is also so exciting!
Zoe xx
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